A Thousand Years

Aaron and I have a song.  It chose us...while we were doing dishes.  The first few measures came lofting through the radio speakers and I swooped Aaron into my arms and said, "I love this song."  We swayed back and forth as I tried to mumble along the words.  I didn't know many of the, until the chorus, "Darlin don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years; I'll love you for a thousand more..." He kept his heads planted in the crook of my neck and played with my hair as he listened to each phrase.  I held him so tight, and want to hold onto that moment even tighter.  I think he did too.

Ever since that afternoon, I'll hear him randomly start singing our words over and over, "I've loved you for a tttthhhhoooouuuusssaaannndddd years; I'll love you for a tttttthhhhhhooooouuuuuussssssaaaaaannnnnnddddd more..."  He sings them while he's going to the bathroom, sometimes when he's looking for one of his cars, sometimes when he's coloring pages in his coloring book."  And whenever I hear our little song, I smile.  He looks up into my eyes.  And, we smile together.  I know he's remembering that it's our song.

I have loved my boys for a thousand years.  My strongest motivation to begin writing in a journal years and years ago was because I wanted my kids to know how much I looked forward to being their mother.  I always felt like my kids were somewhere watching me, laughing at me...hopefully looking forward to being mine.  Maybe that's a crazy notion, but when I have sweet moments like this with my babies, it doesn't seem so silly.  Like time--as I know it---is just a figment of my imagination.  And the real measure of existence is love.  Aaron, JJ, and all the unknown souls yet to join us: I'll love you for a thousand more.