The binki, the big boy and the baby

This summer has been oh so full and it just keeps filling...much like my midsection. We've had our share of adventures, advances, set backs and celebrations and I can't wait to report on all of them. I hope I get to it, but for now I'm busy contemplating our growing family; something I'm doing a lot of these days.

Above is my baby (whose days as the baby are numbered), pumping himself up to put his binki days behind him and trade them in for a big boy bike. We talked about it for over a month--how the binki fairy would bring him his coveted "spigerman" bike if he gathered up all his binkis and left them for her to take them away forever. And, below is my big boy--proud to pedal his training wheels. I'm proud of him that he earned it, and that he's only had a few short-lived moments of regret.

But, had I known that this trade also included his regular midday naps, would I have invited the binki fairy to our home? I think so (though there have been many restless afternoons where I have pondered this question). We try quiet time, but most often it means either: a half awake momma nagging Aaron to stop emptying his shelving and come lie down; or a screaming two year old behind a locked door, reminding me that the sun is still up. Maybe we just need another month to figure it out. But, on the upside, without his "nini" he throws less tantrums and spends less time wallowing in self-pity while sucking on his pacifier. Consequentially, I spend less time trying to reason with the unreasonable and being frustrated that his paci is plugging up his language development. He really does behave more like a "big boy," and with a real baby on the way, that's a good thing.

Big Boy Example A: Requesting to take photos. The other night when Jonny was gearing up to go on a bike ride Aaron asked if he could wear Jonny's other pair of biking shoes. Once he had them on he said, "Can we take a picture now, with Dada?" Of course, Aaron. Another endearing big boy shoe moment occurred at the store the other day when Aaron spotted a pair of large sandals he wanted to buy. Now, let me explain that Aaron wearing big shoes is nothing new...he has always loved wearing shoes that are too big and that aren't his. So, when I told him that they were too big he simply said, "But I a big boy!" Hard to argue with that one.

Example B: Taking his cochlears off by himself, without supervision. Thankfully, up to this point Aaron has always been really great at letting me help him with his cochlears, with a few situational exceptions. But this summer he's decided that he's big enough to know when they are supposed to come off. If I'm not right next to him when he wants to run through the sprinklers or if a battery dies, we've spent a few frantic minutes searching for them in the grass and wondering how we're going to find ten grand to replace them if they are lost.

Example C: The big brother. Though I know we can expect a bit of regression in Aaron's "big boy" behaviors when the baby comes along, I know Aaron is going to be a wonderful big brother. He's protective of my baby belly, he insists on lifting up my shirt to show the baby his toys and he imitates the baby (already...can't wait to see what happens when the baby is actually here). Not too long ago I asked Aaron if he wanted to feel the baby kick. He placed his hand on my belly and when nothing happened I jerked my belly forward and smiled with "surprise." The next day he lifted up his shirt, poked out his belly then jerked it forward with a surprised look on his face before saying, "Oh! My baby's kicking." His sweet imitations just pull at my heart. To be honest, I have felt rather ashamed that it's been easier to "forget" that I am pregnant this time around. I'm not as consumed with the weekly babycenter updates or stocking up on onesies or taking weekly profile growth shots.

But I'm just as worried as I was before, though my worries are rather different: how can I share time and make it just as meaningful for both my boys; how can I help this new little one be his own person and never feel like he's "just the little brother;" and where will I find time to do my work and keep my head on strait? I do worry about these things, but only until I feel this little nudger within me remind me that he's coming soon and God must know that Jonny, Aaron and I are up to the challenges and blessings ahead. And, whenever I begin to doubt, He always finds a way to remind me that even though my growth is the most obvious (around my midsection), our little family is growing together.